外國最新英語幽默笑話精粹206：我解雇秘書的原因(中英)
One man explaining to another why he fired his secretary:
一個男士在向另外一個男士解釋他為什么解雇了自己的秘書。
"Two Weeks ago,” I said, "was my forty一fifth birthday and I wasn’t feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went into the kitchen for breakfast knowing that my wife would be pleasant and say ` Happy Birthday' and probably have a present for me. She didn't even say ‘Good Morning' let alone say ‘Happy Birthday’.”
他說:“兩星期以前是我45歲的生日，可那天早晨，我一點都不覺得興奮。我走進廚房去吃早餐，心想妻子一定會高興的對我說生日快樂，也許她還會為我準備了一份禮物，可她卻連‘早安’都沒說，就更不用說‘生日快樂’了。
"I said to myself ‘Well that’s wives for you. The children will remember.’ But the children came into breakfast and didn't say a word. And when I started to the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent.”
當時我對自己說，這只是太太，孩子們一定會記得的，可是當孩子們進來吃早餐的時候，居然連一個詞都沒提。我要去上班了，心里覺得特別的失落和沮喪。
"As I walked into my office, Janet said ‘Good Morning, Boss-Happy Birthday' and I felt a little bit better that someone had remembered.”
當我走進辦公室的時候，簡尼特對我說:‘老板，早晨好，生日快樂’，我感到了一絲欣慰，畢竟還有人記得呀!
"I worked until noon. About noon, Janet knocked on my door and said, `You know it's such a beautiful day outside and it is your birthday, so let's go to lunch, just you and I'.” I said, "By George, that is the greatest thing I have heard all day. Let's go.”
我工作到了中午，簡尼特敲開我的門說:‘你知道嗎?今天外面多美啊，正巧又是你的生日，我們去吃午餐吧，就你和我。’我說:‘太棒了，這是我一天中聽到的最令人興奮的事情，那我們快走吧。’
"We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go. We went out into the country to a private place. We had two Martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.”
于是我們去吃午餐，我們沒到平時去的地方，而是去了鄉村一個很隱蔽的地方，我們喝了兩瓶馬丁尼酒，快樂地享受著午餐。
"On the way back to the office, she said, ‘You know, it's such a beautiful day we don't need to go back to the office, do we?’ I said, ‘No, I guess not.’ She said, ‘Let’s go by my apartment, and I’11 fix you another Martini.’ ”
在回辦公室的路上，她說:‘你知道嗎?今天是多么美好的一天啊，我們都不想回辦公室對吧?’我說:‘我想是的。’她又說:‘那我們去我的家吧!我為你再開一瓶馬丁尼酒。’
"We went to her apartment. We enjoyed another Martini and smoked a cigarette and she said, ‘Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'11 go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable’ and I allowed her as I didn't mind at all.”
于是我們來到了她的家，又喝了一瓶酒，還抽了一些香煙。她說:‘老板，如果你不介意，我想去臥室換一身舒適的衣服，’我告訴她我一點都不介意，還讓她快去。
"She went into the bedroom and in about six minutes she ca
她走進臥室，大約6分鐘后，走出來，拿著一個大的生日蛋糕，身后卻是我的妻子和孩子們，他們齊聲合唱:‘祝你生日快樂’。可這時我卻是一絲不掛，只穿著一雙襪子坐在那里。”
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