英漢雙語笑話15
How Did You Ever Get Here
One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."
The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?"
"I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."
你是怎樣來的？
一個冬天的早晨，一名雇員解釋他為什么遲到了四十五分鐘才起來上班。“外面太滑了，我每向前邁一步，就要向后退兩步。”
老板狐疑地看著他。“噢，是嗎？那你是怎樣到這里來的？”
“后來我決定放棄，”他說，“然后我就往家里走。”
2.
Creative
Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications. Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.
I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.
創造性
第一次求職時，我意識到在列舉我所具備的為數不多的條件時，得有點創造性。當問及我是否受過其它的培訓時，我老實地回答說我花了三年時間學計算機程序設計課。我得到了那份工作。
我沒有提到那門功課我重復學了三年才考及格。
3.
CD Player
While shopping for my first CD player, I was able to decipher most of the technicalese on the promotional signs. One designation had me puzzled, though, so I called over a salesperson and asked, "What does 'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?"
"That means," she said, "that this machine will read the digital information that is encoded on CDs and convert it into an audio signal - that is, into music."
"In other words this CD player plays CDs."
"Exactly."
CD唱機
在購買我的第一部CD唱機時，我能夠解讀推銷標記上面的大多數技術語言。但是有一個標示卻讓我頗為迷惑，于是我叫過銷售商，問道：“‘混合脈沖D/A變換器’是什么意思？”
“它的意思是，”她說，“這個機器能夠讀CD碟上加碼的數字信息，將它轉換成聲音信息－也就是說，轉換成音樂。”
“換句話說，這個CD唱機能夠播放CD碟。”
“正是如此。”
4.
I Am Acting Like a Lady
One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.
He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.
"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"
"Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."
我要表現得象位女士
一天，遠東百貨公司的女裝大減價，一位高貴的中年男士想給太太買一件。可是，沒過多久，他發現自己已被瘋狂的女人沖得踉踉蹌蹌。
他竭力忍耐著。后來，他低下頭，揮動雙臂，擠過人群。
“你干嘛？”有人尖聲叫道，“你難道不能表現得象位紳士嗎？”
“聽著，”他說，“我已經象紳士一樣表現了一個小時。從現在起，我要表現得象個女士。”
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