英漢雙語笑話16
How Much Is It?
It was winter, and Mrs. Hermann wanted to do a lot of shopping, so she waited until it was Saturday, when her husband was free, and she took him to the shops with her to pay for everything and to carry her parcels. They went to a lot of shops, and Mrs. Hermann bought a lot of things. She often stopped and said, "Look, Joe! Isn't that beautiful!"
He then answered, "All right, dear, How much is it?" and took his money out to pay for it.
It was dark when they came out of the last shop, and Mr. Hermann was tired and thinking about other things, like a nice drink by the side of a warm fire at home. Suddenly his wife looked up at the sky and said, "Look at that beautiful moon, Joe!"
Without stopping, Mr. Hermann answered, "All right, dear, How much is it?"
多少錢？
嚴冬來臨，荷曼太太想采購一大批東西，所以她就一直等到周六丈夫有空的時候，她拖著他去商店付錢連帶拎包裹。他們去了許多商店，荷曼太太買了一大堆東西。她經常停下腳步說道：“看，喬伊!那個多漂亮!”
他總是回答：“好吧!親愛的，多少錢？”然后掏錢去付款。
他們從最后一家商店出來的時候夜幕已經降臨，荷曼先生已精疲力盡了。他心里想著其它事情，比如在家里暖暖的火爐邊呷口美酒。突然他太太仰望天空，說道：“看那月亮多美，喬伊!”
荷曼先生不加思索答道：“好吧，親愛的，多少錢？”
2.
Three Whistles
I promised my girlfriend a gold necklace for her birthday, but when the jeweler quoted a price for one we liked, I let out a long, low whistle. "And how much are they then?" I asked, pointing to another tray.
"You, sir," replied the jeweler, "about three whistles."
三聲口哨
我答應過我的女朋友過生日進送她一條金項鏈。可是當珠寶商報出我們看中的那條項鏈的價格時，我低低地打了個長口哨。“那這條項鏈多少錢呢？”我指著另一個盤子里的項鏈問。
“先生，對你來說，”珠寶商答道，“大約值三聲口哨。”
3.
Early Shopper
It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.
"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
采購過早
那天是圣誕節，法官在審訊犯人時也有點惻隱之心。“你為什么而被起訴？”他問。
“采購圣誕節物品過早。”被告答。
“這不算犯法，”法官回答，“你購物多早？”
在商店開門之前，“犯人應道。
4.
Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
中間戰術
三個互相爭生意的商店老板在一條商業街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。
右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：“大減價!”“特便宜!”
左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：“大砍價!”“大折扣!”
中間的商人隨后準備了一個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫著：“入口處”。
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