英漢雙語笑話24

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1.

Pig or Witch

　　 A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. If only men would listen.

豬還是女巫

　　一個(gè)男人在一條陡峭狹窄的山路上駕車，一個(gè)女人相向駕車而來。他們相遇時(shí)，那個(gè)女的從窗中伸出頭來叫到：“豬！！”那個(gè)男的立即從窗中伸出頭來回敬道：“女巫！！”他們繼續(xù)前行。這個(gè)男的在下一個(gè)路口轉(zhuǎn)彎時(shí)，撞上了路中間的一頭豬。要是這個(gè)男的能聽懂那個(gè)女人的意思就好了。

2.

Secret For a Long Life

A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.

"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she says. "What's your secret for a long, happy life?"

"I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, ever exercise."

"Wow, that's amazing," says the woman. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-six."

長壽秘訣

一位女士走向坐在門廊的椅子上搖動(dòng)的小老頭。

“我無意中發(fā)現(xiàn)，你是多么幸福，”那女士說。“你幸福而長壽的秘密是什么？”

“我每天抽三包煙，每周喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪食品，而且從來不曾鍛煉。”

“哦，真神奇，”女士說。“你高壽？”

“二十六。”

3.

Response Ability

An Ogden, Iowa, minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation for a cup of coffee. When asked if that didn't constitute gambling, the minister replied, "It's merely a scientific method of determining just who is going to commit an act of charity."

Philosopher Bertrand Russell, asked if he was willing to die for his beliers, replied: "Of course not. After all, I may be wrong."

A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"

The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."

答問技巧

衣阿華州奧格根的一位牧師正在與一位教友為一杯咖啡而猜硬幣。別人問他那是否構(gòu)成賭博行為時(shí)，牧師答道：“這僅僅是決定由誰來做一件善事的一種科學(xué)方法。”

當(dāng)我人問哲學(xué)家羅素是否愿意為了他的信仰而獻(xiàn)身時(shí)，他答道：“當(dāng)然不會(huì)。畢竟，我可能會(huì)是錯(cuò)的。”

一份報(bào)紙組織了一場競賽，為下面的問題征集最佳答案：“如果盧浮宮起了火，而你只能救出一幅畫，你將救出哪一幅？”

獲獎(jiǎng)的答案是：“最接近門口的那一幅。”

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