英漢雙語笑話81
A Smart Housewife.
A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"
精明的家庭主婦
一位精明的家庭主婦聽人說有一種爐子用起來可以比她現在用的爐子省一半的煤。她聽了大為興奮，說：“那太好了！一個爐子可以省一半的煤，那么如果我買兩個爐子的話，不就可以把煤全都省下來了嗎？”
2.
When the young waitress in the café in Tom's building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"
"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.
"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"
約會
在湯姆工作的大樓里有一個咖啡屋，那兒總有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。湯姆有些受寵若驚，因為這位小姐看上去至少比他年輕15歲。一天她又對湯姆招手并示意湯姆過去。于是湯姆走了過去。她問道，“您現在是單身嗎？” “對，是單身，”湯姆滿臉堆笑的說。 “我母親也是，”她說，“您愿不愿意見見她？”
3.
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congreg
ation. "All who want to go to heaven，please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."
Awaking with a start, the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit, "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
瞌睡者
牧師非常生氣，因為總有一個人在他說教時打瞌睡。一個星期天，正當坐在前排的那個人又在瞌睡時，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，讓他不要再在布道時睡覺。于是他低聲對信徒們說：“想去天堂的人，都請站起來吧。”所有的人都站了起來——當然，除了那個打瞌睡的人。在低聲說過請坐后，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請站起來！”打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來。看到牧師高站在教壇上，正生氣的看著他。這個人說道：“噢，先生，我不知道我們在選什么，但看上去只有你和我是候選人。”
4.
Logic Reasoning
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin
g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"
邏輯推理
小學四年級的教師正在給學生們上一堂邏輯課。她舉了這么一個例子：“有這樣一種情況，一個男人在河中心的船上釣魚，突然失去重心掉進了水里。于是他開始掙扎并喊救命。他的妻子聽到了他的喊聲，知道他并不會游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。誰能告訴我這是為什么？” 一個女生舉手答道，“是不是去取他的存款？”
[注]bank在英語中除了我們平時很熟悉的“銀行”之外，還有“河岸”的意思。
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