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外國(guó)最新英語幽默笑話精粹241:關(guān)于降落傘(中英)

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You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute.

你是一架失控飛機(jī)上兩名乘客中的一名,現(xiàn)在只有一個(gè)降落傘。

Pessimist: you refuse the parachute because you might die in the jump anyway.

悲觀主義者:你拒絕使用降落傘,因?yàn)榧词鼓闾氯ヒ矔?huì)死。

Optimist: you refuse the parachute because people have survived jumps just like this before.

樂觀主義者:你拒絕使用降落傘,因?yàn)樵?jīng)有人不用降落傘跳下去也能活。

Procrastinator: you play a game of Monopoly for the parachute.

慢性子:你玩一盤強(qiáng)手棋來決定是否拿降落傘。

Lawyer: you charge the airline for one parachute.

律師:因?yàn)橹挥幸粋€(gè)降落傘,你要控訴航空公司。

Doctor: you need to run more tests,and then take the parachute.

醫(yī)生:在你拿降落傘以前你要仔細(xì)的檢查多遍。

Sales executive: you sell the parachute at top retail rates and get the names of the other guy’s friends and relatives who might like one too.

銷售代表:你以最高的零售價(jià)把降落傘賣給另一個(gè)人,然后要來他的親戚朋友的名字,問他們是否也想要一個(gè)。

Internal Revenue Service: you confiscate the parachute along with the other guy’s luggage and wallet.

國(guó)內(nèi)稅收員:你把降落傘連同另一個(gè)人的行李和錢包一起沒收。

Advertiser: you sing that what he need is a neon parachute with computer altimeter for only $39. 99.

廣告商:你唱出他們需要的是一個(gè)尼龍降落傘和一個(gè)電腦高度計(jì),只賣三十九點(diǎn)九九美元。

Engineer; you make him another parachute out of aisle curtains and dental floss.

工程師:你用走廊的窗簾和牙線為另一個(gè)人再做一個(gè)降落傘。

Scientist: you give him the parachute and ask him to send you a report on how well it worked.

科學(xué)家:你把降落傘給另一個(gè)人,然后叫他們寄給你一份降落傘怎樣工作的報(bào)告。

Mathematician: you refuse to accept the parachute without proof that it will work in all cases.

數(shù)學(xué)家:如果不能證明降落傘在任何情況下都能正常使用你拒絕使用降落傘。

Philosopher: you ask how he knows the parachute actually exists.

哲學(xué)家:你問另一個(gè)人降落傘他怎么知道降落傘確實(shí)存在。

English Teacher; you explicate simile and metaphor in the parachute instructions.

英語老師:你會(huì)在降落傘的說明書里找出哪里是明喻哪里是暗喻。

Comparative Literature: you read the parachute instructions in all four languages.

比較文學(xué)學(xué)者:你會(huì)通讀降落傘說明上的四種語言。

Computer Scientist: you design a machine capable of operating a parachute as well as a human being could.

電腦專家:你會(huì)設(shè)計(jì)一個(gè)能和人一樣操縱降落傘的機(jī)器。

Psychoanalyst: you ask him what the shape of a parachute reminds him of.

心理醫(yī)生:你會(huì)問另一個(gè)人降落傘的形狀會(huì)讓他想起什么。

Artist: you hang the parachute on the wall and sign it.

藝術(shù)家:你會(huì)把降落傘掛在墻上,然后在上面簽上名字。

Libertarian: after reminding him of his constitutional right to have a parachute,you take it and jump out.

自由論者:你會(huì)提醒另一個(gè)人他擁有憲法賦予的拿降落傘的權(quán)利,然后你拿起來跳出去。

Surgeon General: you issue a warning that skydiving can be hazardous to your health.

外科醫(yī)生:你會(huì)提出跳傘運(yùn)動(dòng)有害健康的警告。

National Rifle Association: you shoot him and take the parachute.

國(guó)家槍械協(xié)會(huì)會(huì)員:你開槍打死另一個(gè)人然后拿走降落傘。

Police Bigot: you beat him unconscious with the parachute.

頑固的警察:你會(huì)用降落傘打得另一個(gè)人不省人事。

Environmentalist: you refuse to use the parachute unless it is biodegradable.

環(huán)保主義者:除非能證明降落傘是生物可分解的,否則你拒絕使用降落傘。

Sports Fan: you start betting on how long it will take to crash.

體育迷:你開始打賭飛機(jī)多長(zhǎng)時(shí)間會(huì)墜毀。

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