美國知識分子的奪命幽默：交朋友（雙語）
hello, six-year-old child.
seeing as how fate has brought us together here, in the crowded coach section of this expensive airplane, i thought i should introduce myself.
my name is amy, and i’m an adult. i suspect that you’re too young to understand what “adult” means, so let me explain. it means that i’m taller than you, and smarter, and that i get to do lots of awesome things, like smoke cigarettes and ovulate. it also means that i like to take naps on airplanes and read my newspaper in silence. these things seem to be very different from the things that you like to do.
i’ve gleaned from its near-constant utterance by the woman sitting next to you—your mother, i suppose, or perhaps a social worker or a federal prisoner who’s being paid to spend time with you—that your name is timmy. it’s probably timothy, actually, but people call you timmy because it’s cuter. which is appropriate, timmy, because you’re very cute, you really are. you’re really very fucking cute.
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