英語幽默笑話大全時尚生活篇06：日光浴(雙語閱讀)

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第一部份新鮮生活

unit6 sunbathing 日光浴

（演講節(jié)選）

science and art
科學(xué)和藝術(shù)

thomas henry huxley
托馬斯·亨利·赫胥黎

may 5 ,1883
1883年5月5日

i beg leave to thank you for the extremely kind and appreciative manner in which you have received the toast of science.it is the more grateful to me to hear that toast proposed in an assembly of this kind , be-cause i have noticed of late pears a great and growing tendency among those who were once jestingly said to have been born in a pre-scientific age to look upon science as an invading and aggressive force,which if it had its own way would oust from the universe all other pursuit. i think there are many persons who look upon this new birth of our times as a sort of monster rising out of the sea of modem thought with the purpose of devouring the andromeda of art. and now and then a perseus,equipped with the shoes of swiftness of the ready writer,with the cap of invisibility of the editorial article,and it may be with the medusahead of vituperation,shows himself ready to try conclusions with the scientific dragon.sir,i hope that perseus will think better of it;first,for his own sake,because the creature is hard of head,strong of jaw,and for some time past has shown a great capacity for going over and through whatever comes in his way;adn secondly,for the sake of justice,for i assure you,of my own personal knowledge that if left alone,the creature is a very debonair and gentle monster.as for the andromeda of art,he has the tenderest respect for that lady,and desires nothing more than to see her happily settled and annually producing a flock of such charming children as those we see a bout us.
請允許我感謝諸位極其友好、極有眼光地聽取了為科學(xué)而作的祝酒辭。在今天這樣的會上聽到這個祝酒辭，更使我感激不已。因為近年來我注意到，在那些被戲稱為生于前科學(xué)時代的人當(dāng)中，出現(xiàn)了一種日益強大的、把科學(xué)視為一股侵略勢力的傾向。他們以為，如果科學(xué)要想隨心所欲的話，就會把其他行業(yè)逐出宇宙。我想，現(xiàn)在有許多人都認(rèn)為當(dāng)代的這個新生事物是一頭從現(xiàn)代思潮的海洋中冒出來的怪獸，它想要吞噬藝術(shù)的安德洛墨選。于是，一位帕棰斯就會不時出現(xiàn)。他腳登寫作快手的“追風(fēng)靴”，頭戴重要評論的“臆形盔”，也許還長著裝清謾罵之詞的“美杜薩腦袋”，擺出了欲與科學(xué)之龍決勝負(fù)的架勢。諸位，我希望這位帕修斯三思。首先要為自己著想。因為怪獸的頭很堅硬，顎也很強壯，而且一段時間以來，它在沖破任何羈絆方面已大顯身手。其次要為公正著想。因為我向諸位擔(dān)保，依本人之愚見，這頭怪獸如果不去惹它的話，本來是非常溫文爾雅的。至于藝術(shù)的安德洛墨達(dá)，它對那位女士非常敬慕，而且別無他求，只盼她幸福地安家落戶，年年生育一大群招人喜愛的兒女，就像我們在自己周圍所看到的孩子們那樣。

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