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  • joke(41)
      模 仿  一個男孩放學回家時,覺得肚子痛。“來,坐下,吃點點心,”媽媽說,“你肚子痛是因為肚子是空的。吃點東西就會好的。”  一會兒,男孩的爸爸下班回家了,說是頭痛。  “你頭痛是因為你的腦袋是空的,”他那聰...
  • joke(42)
      睡前禱告詞  朱莉葉在做睡前禱告。“上帝,求求你,”她說,“讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧。”  媽媽打斷她的話說:“朱莉葉,為什么求上帝讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都呢?”  朱莉葉回答道:“因為我在地理考卷上...
  • joke(43)
      我很高興  一個主日學校的教師正在對學生講使別人高興的重要性。“聽著,孩子們,”她說,“你們當中有誰曾讓別人高興過嗎?”  “我,教師,”一個小男孩說,“昨天我就使別人高興過。”  “做得好,是誰呢?”  “我...
  • joke(44)
      我教老師  母親問她年幼的兒子:“寶貝,今天老師教了你些什么?”  兒子驕傲地說:“什么都沒教,媽媽。她反倒問我一加二等于幾,我告訴她等于三。”  I Taught the Teacher  Mother asked her little boy, “Da...
  • joke(45)
      小妹妹  保育員:約翰尼,你難道不喜歡你的小妹妹嗎?  約翰尼:那倒不是。她要是個男孩就好了。威利有了一個新生的小妹妹,現在他該認為我又在學他的樣子了。  A Baby Sister  Nurse: Don't you like your new...
  • joke(46)
      幸運的母親  一位年輕的母親認為,世界上還有許多受饑餓的人,浪費食物真不應該。有天晚上,在安排幼小的女兒睡覺之前,她給女兒喂夜宵。她先給她一片新鮮的黑面包和黃油,但孩子說她不喜歡這樣吃。她還要一些果醬涂...
  • joke(47)
      一個數學問題  比爾是一個好學生,也是個聰明的孩子。他喜歡學數學,課本上所有的數學問題他都能不費勁地解答。  有一天,在上學路上,比爾經過一家水果店。該店窗戶上有個招牌上寫著:“蘋果――五美分六個。”比...
  • joke(48)
      一切都正常  一對年輕夫婦有個兒子,已經四歲了,還沒有開品說話,他們對此深感焦慮。他們帶他去找專家診治,但醫生們總覺得他沒有毛病。后來有一天早上吃早餐時,那孩子突然開口了:“媽媽,面包烤焦了。”  “你說話...
  • joke(49)
      原來如此  吉米三歲開始畫畫,五歲時已經畫得很好了。他畫了很多美麗而有趣的畫,人們出高價購買。他們說,“這個孩子長大一點肯定會出名,我們可以靠這些畫大賺一筆。”  吉米的畫與眾不同。因為他從來不在整張...
  • joke(50)
      百萬富翁  主管人:我妻子使我成為百萬富翁。  助 手:以前你是什么?  主管人:千萬富翁。  Millionaire  CEO: “My wife made a millionaire out of me.”  Assistant: “What were you before?”  CE...
  • joke(51)
      迪斯尼之族  弗羅里達州的迪斯尼樂園是一個迷人的地方。一次我和丈夫以及兩個孩子前往旅游,我們全身心地沉醉在它的各種奇觀之中。精疲力竭地玩了三天之后,我們要回家了。  當我們驅車離開時,兒子揮手說:“再...
  • joke(52)
      家 規  瓊斯夫婦晚上很少出門,但上星期六,瓊斯太太對丈夫說:“電影院今晚有場好電影,我們去看好嗎?”  瓊斯先生很樂意,于是他們就去了。兩個人都喜歡那部電影。  晚上十一點,他們從電影院出來,鉆進汽車,開始駕...
  • joke(53)
      老夫妻吵架  一對性情乖僻的老夫妻發生了爭吵,一直鬧到地方法官那里。敗訴的一方以一種臨戰的姿態沖著對方嚷道:“我要到巡回法庭去告你。”  “愿意奉陪。”另一個說。  “我要到最高法院去告你。”  ...
  • joke(54)
      孿生龍蝦  我當演員取得成功后,想在媽媽面前炫耀一番。于是,我帶著她到拉斯維加斯的凱撒宮去吃飯。在菜譜中有道菜是“孿生龍蝦――45美元。”  “你為什么不點那個呢,媽?”我問道:“我知道你很喜歡吃龍蝦了。...
  • Farmer Joke(9)
      A farmer and his wife had just woken up one morning to the crowing of their rooster. While still in bed,the farmer‘s wife says,“Pa,you know our neighbor Mr. Jones?”  “Yes Ma,I reckon I do,”re...
  • Farmer Joke(10)
      A New York family bought a ranch out west where they intended to raise cattle. Friends came to visit and asked if the ranch had a name.“Well,”said the would-be-cattleman.“I wanted to call it...
  • Farmer Joke(11)
      Sandy McTavish had an old friend,Jock Murdock,who was quite ill. Sandy came to visit and Jock said,“Sandy,I‘ve only a short time to live,I’m on my death bed lad.”Sandy knew that and in a non-co...
  • Farmer Joke(12)
      Q:Why did the farmer get a Nobel Prize?  A:He was outstanding in his field!更多 英語笑話、英語小笑話、英文笑話、英語幽默小故事,請繼續關注 英語作文大全幽默 笑話...
  • Farmer Joke(13)
      A tornado hit a farmhouse just before dawn. It lifted the roof off,picked up the beds on which the farmer and his wife slept,and set them down gently in the next county. The wife began to cry.“...
  • Farmer Joke(14)
      A rancher asked his veterinarian for some free advice.“I have a horse that walks normally sometimes,and sometimes he limps. What shall I do?”  The Vet replied,“The next time he walks normall...
  • Farmer Joke(15)
      A motorist,after being bogged down in a muddy road,paid a passing farmer five dollars to pull him out with his tractor. After he was back on dry ground he said to the farmer,“At those prices,I sh...
  • Two Gooses
      My Uncle from Vermont was mailing an order to his butcher in Boston. First he bagan the note,“Kindly send twogooses.” That didn't seem right, so he started over again with“Kindly send two gee...
  • Irregular Verb
      Readers of London's New Statesman and Nation were asked to play a game originated by Philosopher Bertrand Russell.On B.B.C.'s Brain Trust programme,he had hu mourously conjugated an“irregular...
  • Going to the Sun During the Night
      When the Americans were getting ready to send their firstmen to the moon, an old Irishman was watching them on tele vision in the bar of a hotel.  There was an Englishman in the bar too, and h...
  • Something That You Know
      Rachmanin off was a very famous pianist and composer of music. He liked to tell this story about himself.  “When I was a very small boy I once played at a party atthe home of a Russian nobl...
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